"i" Yet Another Blog

9/1

2007-09-01T15:22:00.000-07:00

Happy September 1!

BISOUS

2007-06-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

I went out last night with some friends in Seattle. A girl with large red lips was there. She pressed her lips against mine--just as she had done with all the other gay men and straight women--all I could think about was, "why are her lips so red?" I think it's because she used them so much.

We should all use our lips a little more.

~Bisous

big s

2007-04-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

it is true that you can now get a super sized stanton these days at the mississippi pizza company. it is not a stallion but it must be good.

Well, well, if it isn't yet another blog.

2007-04-27T16:14:00.001-07:00

Marv has a really great blog now.

http://babybynum.blogspot.com/

Check it out.

suck it

2007-04-22T09:21:00.001-07:00

if there is one essential accessory you need to pick up this week for your car, this is it! the durabuilt 12 volt auto vacuum. this little tool rocks.

2007-04-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

ha ha mama judy

2007-04-21T15:09:00.000-07:00

I have a new job. Here's part of the new crew. Oh. and I am now going to be mobile blogging so I hope you enjoy the updates. They will be full of spelling errors and brief; however, they should be more frequent. gh

2007-04-21T13:22:00.001-07:00

new roomie. her name is Lilly.

The Big Pecker

2007-04-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm a pecker. That is, I don't know how to type without looking at the keys, using the under appreciated "hunt and peck" method. What's so wrong with that anyway? I don't know how to type as well as others--I admit it!

My first computer, that I actually owned, was a C-64. In fact, back in those days, we had things like tape drives (a cassette tape that served as a drive). We had to use commands like Load*.*,8,1. The last part of the command has to do with bits and bytes. The world ran at a slower pace. For example, you would wait for the computer with a 300 baud modem for an entire night to download 6 bytes per MINUTE of a 100 byte program. You didn't need to know how to type over 60 words per minute because it wouldn't have helped anyway.

To all you haters out there who laugh at the way my fingers semi-hover over the keyboard and wobble from letter to key as I crank out nearly 55 words per minute (yes, I retook the test without the pressure of Shane, Joey and Jayme watching laughing), I say, suck it. It may not be pretty--the way I type, but it keeps the digits and the mind sharp!

Maybe some day I will take the time to become certified.

Mac en Français - Très Sexy

2007-03-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

Check out the other commercials here.

Happy St. Patty's Day

2007-03-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

4.5 Month Vacation

2007-03-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

Every day I have people ask me what I do with all of my free time. Well, here is a glimpse of this past week. Buy a car, Hood River trip, shopping for pillows, painting walls, interview in Seattle, drinks with friends. My life is busy. I figure I should enjoy this last week or so of freedom because this is nearly the end of my vacation.

Moyen de Transport

2007-03-09T07:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, her name is officially "Jasmine"...when she's feeling a bit racy, she goes by "Jazzy" (sorry Amelia).

Hey peeps, I'm rollin' dirty in my new car. I need a good name for her...she's hot and sexy so it has to be good. If you have a suggestion then let me know.

Thanks!

P.S. On a less jovial note, this means the "red bullet" is going to be sent out to the pasture.

Welcome Back

2007-03-07T13:45:00.000-08:00

Jeremy has returned from Seattle to restart his life here (see 2 posts down).

He gleefully let me know, from the pay phone at a local strip club, that things between he and his employer were not working out. We had a couple of very exciting days there, didn't we!

Belle

2007-03-05T02:09:00.000-08:00

Oregon is such a beautiful place to walk around in the mud.

Something strange happened to me tonight. While watching a program I used to enjoy on TV (Heroes), I found myself listening to Nancy Sinatra and not even giving a shit about the show--music is so much better than Heroes.

Jeremy

2007-03-05T00:34:00.000-08:00

NEWS BREAK

Jeremy has moved to Seattle to pursue a lucrative career in window tinting. The funny thing is that many of you know who Jeremy is, but I would imagine that many others have no idea who Jeremy is.

He is the man who has/can/will:

1. Play the electric guitar until you either cry from immense pleasure or die from the riffs.
2. Make you understand that there is life after a life of adversity.
3. Talk to you, completely interested, while he drops a tip--the whole time knowing you better.
4. Always be excited to see you and have a contagious energy during the entire event.
5. Borrow a buck.
6. Be relentlessly decent while remaining a spectacular friend.
7. Supported every decision I have ever made.
8. Known me since I was 6 years old.
999. Has too much talent; missing his creative outlet.

Most great artists have problems with the "regular" world. Everyone knows this. We do not usually accept it until someone with more intellect shows us what is it we are missing once the artist is gone; Jeremy is a perfect example. I think it is hard to look inside oneself and figure out where he is going; however, maybe it is not necessary; maybe we should let him be famous; he must be some day!

Let's wish him well in his new adventures in the Emerald City! The point I am making is that:

At home, drawing pictures of mountain tops With him on top lemin yellow sun, arms raised in a v And the dead lay in pools of maroon below Daddy didnt give attention Oh, to the fact that mommy didnt care King jeremy the wicked...oh, ruled his world... Jeremy spoke in class today... (2x) Clearly I remember pickin on the boy Seemed a harmless little fuck Ooh, but we unleashed a lion... Gnashed his teeth and bit the recess ladys breast... How can I forget? And he hit me with a surprise left My jaw left hurtin...ooh, dropped wide open Just like the day...oh, like the day I heard Daddy didnt give affection, no... And the boy was something that mommy wouldnt wear King jeremy the wicked...oh, ruled his world Jeremy spoke in class today... (3x) Woo... (14x) Try to forget this...try to forget this... Try to erase this...try to erase this... ]from the blackboard... Jeremy spoke in class today... (2x) Jeremy spoke in, spoke in... (2x) Jeremy spoke in class today... Woo... (29x) Woooooohhh...spoke in, spoke in... Woooooohhh...uh huh, uh huh...
(Pearl Jam, Eddie Vedder)

Oops I Did it Again

2007-03-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

Last night I took last-minute trip to Vegas with Maura. I know, I just went to Vegas not too long ago, but I figured, what the hell.

Maura found it funny to tell people we were there to "get hitched". She was also surprised to find a band-aid. It really is the little things in life that make it so fun.

Had a blast! I believe the statement goes something like, what happens in Vegas...you know the rest. For some reason I have Sinatra on the mind.

Deez Nutz

2007-02-22T08:21:00.001-08:00

Marvin and Stacy are having a boy! According to his father, the little guy is quite the exhibitionist. Pics as promised.

day 51-ish...Bon Travail

2007-02-21T17:25:00.000-08:00

It is official--I've got a job offer. So it seems I am employable...oh, and the offer is a good one!
I can't really post the details here, but trust me. Woot!

Donald, is that you?

day 50-ish

2007-02-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

Still no job man; however, I feel confident that this is going to be a very good week. Off to drink a little coffee and read a book. Let it come to me...come to me.

S N O W

2007-02-14T06:47:00.000-08:00

Check out Marvin and Stacy's cute little snowman flag!

I was scheduled to fly through Chicago yesterday after an interview in Madison, WI, but there were nearly 900 flights canceled due to a winter blast in the NE; two being my flights. Thus, here I am in lovely Wisconsin where it was a "balmy 21 degrees" yesterday, according to one local resident, and today it is a chilly 7 degrees. This is beautiful.

Wherever you are today I hope that you're safe and warm.
Happy V-Day!

A frozen Lake Mendota from the Hilton. Some nuts were ice fishing.

Mere Mortals

2007-02-11T14:35:00.000-08:00

In preparing for my interview in Madison on Tuesday, it crossed my mind that none of us really plan, or rather, have the option of choosing when and how we will die. All we can do is determine the approximate lifestyle we would like to live and then our actions, choices, and decisions will hopefully lead to satisfaction.

The way I see it there are three general lifestyles to choose from. I thought I would list off the pros and cons of each while I'm at it.

1. Fanatic: Healthy and aware of all decisions. Dedicated, motivated, and driven. Rarely makes bad decisions and often maintains long-term goals. Confident and often viewed as an overachiever. May die alone or with many.

Pros: Will usually do well financially. Understands how the world works. Sets children for success. Travels and experiences the finer things in life. Is involved in the world and community. Has the pleasure of accomplishments. Hopefully will live long and healthy life...but that is certainly not guaranteed.

Cons: Most likely will require some counseling to deal with their overachiever issues. May not relate to the rest of the world--poor, underprivileged. Their children may not love them because they weren't there for them while growing up.

2. Average Joe: Kinda waffles through life making mistakes here and there.
Doesn't really do anything wrong but doesn't do anything amazing. A consumer rather than an inventor. Has a couple of kids, does alright financially and dies relatively happy. Dies with many.

Pros: Easily entertained. Enjoys the simple life and a vacation each year to Disneyland or camping. Loves television. Appearance of a solid family life. Not constantly worried of what people think of them.

Cons: Will have heart and fitness problems from eating McDonalds over the years. Will never know the finer things in life. Will often be referred to as average. Will not leave a mark. Will probably be tempted to cheat on significant other just once; will act on the opportunity and regret it for the rest of his/her life. Fears the nightly news.

3. Meth Head: Constantly making bad choices. Lives for the moment and does not have any long-term goals.

Pros: No one will rely on this person. Considers self to be highly intelligent--even more when all doped up. Happily moves along with lots of financial support from the government. Easily entertained by macaroni and shiny objects. Deliriously ignorant to world events.

Cons: Will be very very sick. Most likely dies at a young age. Never any solid foundation in life. Never any long-term satisfaction. Will be terribly alone. Will spend time behind bars. Wastes the gift of life.

The point of my post is that we can't choose when we will die or how it will happen, but we can choose what kind of a person to be along the way.

Anna Nicole Smith + Death = Google Making Money

2007-02-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't heard, Anna Nicole Smith has passed away. The good news is that Google and some company (FreePayZone) have figured out how to make a nifty game of her death. That's right, you could win an iPod!

What is wrong with this country?

Gabe n Shane Roadshow - Vegas 2007

2007-01-28T17:00:00.000-08:00

We're off to Vegas for a quick three day vacation.

Stanton and I have selected the fine IP as our ops base for its location, historical value, charm (or lack of), and finally the deciding factor: price. That's right. We're rational men. It was pretty easy to come to the conclusion that we're "not going to be in the room very much anyway." Why? Because we're going to tear up the town of Las Vegas like a couple of men who are "in their 30s." That's right!

The last time I stayed at the IP was for Marv's 21st b-day celebration. Wow! That was a bust. The last time I was in Vegas with Shane two women stalked us at our hotel (Treasure Island). Let me say that it was pretty easy to avoid stalkers in Vegas.

I can't wait to get one of those hangovers that pretty much lays you out for the entire day following a night of debauchery (a man can dream). While packing today I was sure to put Advil in my overnight bag. This is the first time I have ever done such a thing. The 30s are beautiful.

So if you're in Vegas this week and you see a couple of sexy men who look a little out of their element--maybe searching for a hoodie and a dive bar, then give us a nod. We're just getting warmed up.

ZZ Top

2007-01-25T13:22:00.000-08:00

Is it true? Is every girl crazy for a sharp dressed man?

I hope so.

Today was my big "interview" day. I spoke with three different division directors: sales ops, marketing, and b2b sales. They had me take an impromptu test on excel functions (VLOOKUP, IF/THEN) as they relate to compensation levels and reporting. They all asked me a ton of questions and seemed to be recruiting me for different positions. After a 1.5 hours of this they said, "okay you passed." Passed what?

Is it normal to walk out of intense interviewing not knowing if you're on the table for an Ops position in Hawaii or a retail sales position at the mall? Maybe an accounting job?

From what I gather there will most likely be another set of interviews to finalize the beginning of my new career.

Tomorrow morning I have a skills assessment test for a software company out of Madison, WI. This is a 2 hour logic test that, according to the company, "you cannot prepare for." Weeee this is fun! So I get to sit in a room with a test proctor and see if I am smart. At least they are going to give me a calculator.

The good news: I looked sharp and well dressed. Two of the three people I spoke with were women. Hopefully ZZ Top knew what they were talking about because I'll take any help I can get.

Like a Virgin

2007-01-19T21:08:00.000-08:00

My Vein Kicks Ass

DIY Blood and Spit Removal Tool...Nifty

To Marv

2007-01-18T00:05:00.000-08:00

Snow Day

2007-01-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

Portland is an odd city. In fact, there is an unofficial citywide motto which states, "Keep Portland Weird." That's not too difficult and I'm going to show you why.

We were forecast to receive a light dusting of snow in the metro area. Turned out the light dusting translated into 3-4 inches of the glorious white stuff. This is a big deal here and all the people that have jobs usually stay home or go home early. The city pretty much shuts down. So on my third day of feeling a little under the weather I just had to get out and grab a couple of pics. Enjoy...and keep Portland weird.

Little Tiny Snow Man and His Outdoor Dining Experience

Where We're Going We Don't Need Cars

Response to JT's Saturday Night Live Skit

2007-01-12T20:40:00.000-08:00

iYAP = i Yet Another Phone?

2007-01-11T15:31:00.000-08:00

Being part of the i network, it's only reasonable that I comment on the latest iPhone from Apple. Obviously, I'm ready to "pull the trigger" on this bad-ass device. It combines Apple's great technology and usability wrapped nicely in a personal device. FINALLY! The three drawbacks as I see them: limited availability at release, new technology, switching costs.

1. Limited Availability
Cingular, Apple's exclusive partner in the iPhone deal, has approximately 58 million subscribers (#1 in the US with Verizon expected to take the #1 position in Q3 2007). Mr Jobs has suggested that they will go after just 1% of the approx. 1b cell phones purchased in the US for 2006. Thus, he's hoping that either, (a) 17% of existing Cingular customers will be buying the phone this June, or (b) there will be a shift in customer loyalty--the switchers (we'll cover this in a moment). It's most likely that there will be a little of both. This means that it will be difficult to get your grubby little hands on one of these. Not as bad as finding a Wii, but tough at first.

2. New Technology
First release products ALWAYS have bugs. Apple has great products, but they have issues with first release products just like everyone else. It would be a real bummer to serve as a "tester" when you purchase a $499 phone/ipod/internet device. Although, the "coolness factor" is certainly one big reason to forgo any minor inconveniences associated with your shiny new purchase. Imagine all the hot babes you will pull in when you whip it out. "Want me to call you from my phone? Ok. What's your number baby?" Boom!

3. Switching Costs
It's a real surprise that Cingular has an exclusive agreement...not! (that's for you Shane)

Some of my friends have told me they will gladly switch to Cingular, even sell their pet, just so they can own one of these iPhones. Trust me, I've thought about it. I want one! However, we're long-time Verizon customers who pay a little more for the Verizon service because we demand great service--which Verizon offers. How about Cingular? Could they provide the same service and coverage? I doubt it. What will the data packages cost to use the iPhone's fancy features? Wireless communications companies require low-churn rates and steady income streams to remain profitable. With the current average phone package price just under $50 per month we can be certain there will be a push to get that average UP UP UP with package add-ons. The US cellular industry is fairly saturated and it's consolidating (goodbye Sprint & T-mobile, it's been fun). I'd say that is where many of these switchers are going to come from.

If you've noticed, the iPhone requires a 2-year contract with Cingular. Who wants to switch to a 2-year contract with a company they have never used? Not I! Even for a phone that I would gladly sell my dog for...that is if I had a dog. There really needs to be a push toward the Cricket Wireless business model. Now that's something worth switching to. Ah, but it comes down to service.
______________

The iPhone is an interesting product. The best part is that it is perfect for a top secret project I'm working on right now. MMMWWWWAAAHHHHH

In the spirit of Steve Jobs, "boom!"

5.35 IN, 3.38 OUT

2007-01-08T21:06:00.000-08:00

I've averaged a nice-n-soft 3.38 emails per day outgoing email and 5.35 incoming email each day since I began using gmail. That is some serious spam filtration going on there by google. Thanks guys and gals! I appreciate all the hard work. Hotmail was never this nice to me.

Phone interview in a day. Wish me luck. It's nice to have options.

Shoot High Old Man

2007-01-02T21:03:00.000-08:00

My brother's advice: "shoot high". That is some great advice. Thanks bro!

Today was a bonanza; a marketing blitz; an all out assault on the MNCs. I applied all over the US of A, then I posted my resume on a couple of additional job database websites. Suddenly, THIS caught my attention. For some reason, I don't think that is what big bro has in mind. In fact, it is kind of messed up to think of performing a job standing in the terrible Portland rain holding a pizza sign--all for 9 bucks an hour. I LOVE pizza so don't get me wrong about the result of their deep marketing plan. It is important work...but I think I'll pass for the moment.

Fortunately, E sent me a sweet link to a position that I don't qualify for. Maybe they would look the other way and just hand over the six figure income?

Just to be clear on the picture in the upper-right...there isn't a single person in the world who needs (nor I would imagine wants) a "pizza on a stick". Please people, ever hear of the "slice" of pizza? I think my future is bright if there are people out there with terrible ideas.

P.S. Does anyone have an "in" with a key person at a consumer product goods company such as P&G or SC Johnson? I could use the help if you do.

This Internet Thingy is Pretty Cool

2006-12-29T00:10:00.000-08:00

Day 8 of my WWW.JOB.SEARCH

The job search is going well; Although, I am hard-pressed to consider how people performed any relevant search for a job or other information prior to the Internet.

Luckily for me, the Internet is growing and changing. There is this guy, Tim Berners-Lee, who created the World Wide Web (not Al Gore) for us peons; Al did sponsor some legislation in support of the Internet. Tim was a pretty nice guy but certainly not the only person involved in this momentous task. That would be like saying one person invented flight or that an invisible guy created man. I mean, come on.

As the result of work by many very important people with whom I am unable to properly thank (besides God and Jesus), I can look at companies who either express interest in me when they view my resume on the web, or I can seek information on a company when that company strikes my fancy. Imagine a world without sites such as Symplicity, The Vault, Google Finance, and of course other websites around the world to aid you in your search for employment. These little jewels provide me with a solid financial summary (no loser MNC for me) and morsels of deliciously secretive information that would not have been available prior to the mid-90's.

Last, but not least, let me give props to The People and their opinions. Without them, I would languish in the world of the unemployed while I wondered what could have been at company X.

I raise my glass...to Tim. And if you have the opportunity, don't forget to prepare for web 3.0 because the best has yet to come. And you thought we were almost to web 2.0? That was so 2005 of you.

Well-traveled vs. Well, traveled

2006-12-23T13:13:00.000-08:00

In two days Santa will bring happiness to the world; if you're from France, Père Noël will get his groove on just like our Fat Man. The world is a big place with lots of cites I've never seen. Personally, I've been to three continents and seven countries in my 31 years. But when I was putting together my resume and considering my travel experience I began to question the definition of a well-traveled person. So the question I ask is, "are you well-traveled, or are you well, traveled?"

well-traveled
adjective
1 (of a person) having traveled widely.
2 (of a route) much frequented by travelers.

traveled |ˈtravəld|
adjective [with submodifier or in combination ]
1 having traveled to many places : he was widely traveled.
2 used by people traveling : a less well-traveled route.

As a Global Business student and a person who has worked for the airlines just over ten years, I consider myself to be a fairly well-traveled person. Perhaps I am more "widely traveled".

Here is an overview of cities I have been in for at least one day (not sure I can recall all of them). Obviously I have included and omitted many smaller cities. So you tell me...am I well-traveled or simply, well...traveled? How about you?

Australia: Brisbane, Byron Bay (favorite city in the world), Cairns, Surfers Paradise, Sydney
Canada: Edmonton, Kelowna, Vancouver
France: Biarritz, Chamonix, Giverny, Nice, Paris, Sallanches
Mexico: Ixtapa, Los Cabos, Puerto Vallarta
Netherlands: Amsterdam
Switzerland: Bern
United States
Arizona: Phoenix, Tempe, Tucson
California: Crescent City, Los Angeles, Oakland, Orange County, San Diego, San Francisco, San Jose
Colorado: Boulder, Breckenridge, Denver, Dillon, Georgetown
District of Colombia: Washington
Hawaii: Honolulu, Kauai
Idaho: Boise
Illinois: Chicago
Louisiana: New Orleans
Michigan: Lansing
North Carolina: Durham
Nebraska: Omaha
Nevada: Las Vegas
New York: New York
Oklahoma: Tulsa
Oregon: Ashland, Bend, Eugene, Medford, Pendleton, Portland, Redmond, Salem
Pennsylvania: Scranton
Texas: Dallas, Houston
Virginia: South Boston
Washington: Fircrest, North Bend, Olympia, Seattle, Spokane, Tacoma
Wisconsin: Madison, Milwaukee

You're Hired!

2006-12-22T00:37:00.000-08:00

All of my friends are very helpful and kind to me. They are a supportive bunch with lots of superb ideas. So when I asked them for advice on my resume they gladly gave it to me.

Now, I will have to admit that my first time out of the gate was a sad attempt. My second try was a great deal better. After a couple of "yo's" and a smiley face or two I can honestly say I like this resume. It is vital to surround oneself with excellent people. Thank you all for your help! Hopefully, I will soon hear the words, "You're hired". Here are some of the greatly appreciated comments:

"I like... I really like the objective and the way the heading looks!!! I would love to hire you if I had my own business :)"

"yo.. looks pretty awesome. i really like the way its set up and for
the most part its pretty visually pleasing

there are only a couple of things that kinda stand out to me, but i
don't think they are a very big deal.

1. in your objective and skills section the text is tabbed in, its
not for the rest of the resume.

2. the honors part in the education section looks weird.. but i dont
know where else you would put it."

"Good Golly - That looks fabulous!! I would hire you in a minute! Very
impressive ( I had no doubt).

Next . . . Cover letter . . . due to me by Friday : )"

"I think it looks pretty good, except for the part that says "If you
can a moment and would like.."

Nice job. Now go get a job!"

"Personally, I would use a cleaner font and maybe some color instead of the over-sized, underlined headers...It may also be nice to let the type breathe a little and adjust your tracking.

And, I'm pretty sure your future employer doesn't care about what you did in 1992...I believe you only put relevant jobs from the last 5 years or so, granted your job stability limits you to only one, but Suntans probably isn't going to make or break you.

Most employers want a resume that is easy to read and skim if possible, hence the recommendations to open it up a little on the page."

"...this format seems to work just right for you. your skillz pop, yo."

Wii Want This Toy

2006-12-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

I don't think this is a real Wii commercial, but it certainly does fit their target market. They should have gone after Microsoft's Xbox 360 and tried to sink the boat on the heals of the Mac vs. PC ad campaign. All I know is that I want one of these for Xmas:

*** Update ***
After playing the Wii for about two hours I no longer need one. The controller response is a bit too much of a pain in the ass for my pleasure.
*** End Update ***

I know, I know

2006-12-20T12:14:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal. This is it...the only blog I will be using from this point forward. See, all the other blog tools and formats weren't working for me. And this NEW experience is right on track. Sorry for all the confusion.

Just like Ting Ting over here has kicked his smoking habit, I too have kicked the habit of changing my blog location and format. Now, I hope that my friends will update their blogs when they have time.

It is my desire that I will document the search for and successful acquisition of a new job in the exciting marketing industry. Wish me luck. Thoughts?